I threw up into my coffee this morning.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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