I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
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