Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
