Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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