I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
