i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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