Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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