Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
