I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
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