So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
