i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
