a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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