Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
