I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
