drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize