So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
you would pick up someone in the library
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Lo siento on account of my penis...
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
