haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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