If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
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