Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
