..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
