We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
