everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
