thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
You made out with two different species that night
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
