Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I think people are normalizing furries
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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