I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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