You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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