East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
