just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
