You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
