why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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