Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I just had sex on a roof
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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