I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
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