I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
It's blow job season.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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