I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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