do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I enjoy the company of your penis
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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