she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
