ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize