I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
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