My brain says no but my pants say off.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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