nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
How external is "for external use only"?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
