Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
