The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
