Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
