margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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