she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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