I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
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