can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
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