He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
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