Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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