God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I wish life had little blips of pornography
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
