We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
