Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
