I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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