So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
My bed smells like the plague
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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