I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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