awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
