I hate all girls vehemently.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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