if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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