theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
