How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Life without a bra equals bliss.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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