I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize