i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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